Thursday, August 25, 2011

Our History

Jason and I were married in October of 2009. Such a happy time! We thought we had it all figured out. I just got out of nursing school, he was continuing in school and working. All was good. We had discussed wanting children but wanted to wait a little while and just enjoy each others company as newly weds. Then the positive pregnancy test two months later changed everything. I miscarried very early but quickly discovered how much I wanted to be a momma even though at the time it seemed way too fast. We went to the temple one night shortly after and both had the impression to try again. By this time we were married about four months. So we quietly started trying again...nothing happened. For 6 months....not even a positive ovulation test or even a tiny increase in temp. I knew I had issues in that area but I never thought it would be so hard. I knew something was more wrong than I thought. And for whatever reason the feeling of urgency was overpowering me. We visited the OB June 2009 and went through the hoops of tests. Ended up my hormones were all out of whack and we had a touch of male factor infertility to deal with as well to add to the issue. Later on with the ultrasound and exam it was determined that I have pretty severe polycystic ovarian syndrome. Something one in ten women suffer from and is the leading cause of infertility.
Now we thought we knew what we were dealing with no problem. Clomid it is! Took it for three months with no monitoring....nothing. We had done everything right. I was mystified. So we increased the dose to the highest dose possible and had monitoring. I had a beautiful 15mm follicle growing on day 12! Finally there was something...a glimmer of hope. Day 14 still 15mm and a HCG shot to get it to let go. Day 16 same follicle but 10mm...shrinking and thus dead. They called me a low responder and said that I shouldve ovulated by now and if clomid was going to help me it would have by then. Left the doctors office in tears and with the phone numbers of several invitro fertilization clinics in the area. I was so angry. I didn't want anything to do with IVF. So we looked into adoption for a couple months but it never felt right. Took clomid again on our own just to see what would happen and nothing. March 2011 I knew that invitro was our only option. I had gotten a new/better job by then and was more able to deal with the all the doctors appointments and the overwhelming cost.
We spent the better part of a month researching clinics both in our area and abroad. Finally found a doctor that was reasonable in price and close to us. In July 2011 went for our first appointment. That doctor did more for me in an hour than my OBGYN did in six months. He redid all of our tests and ordered new ones. Determined that my uterus is retrograde and that I have stage two endometriosis on top of everything else. But oddly that diagnosis didnt upset me. I know I am in the best hands there is. He has recently washed me out in an attempt to control the growth of endometriosis, a painful proceedure for sure but vital to our treatment. More tests for both the man and I. All came back as expected. We are on track. All medicines have been ordered and are on their way. I start taking the suppression meds the first of September so come October we have a clean slate to work with. Cant wait for October to come! I have so much faith that this will work this time! It hasnt been easy at all, there have been a ton of tears and breakdowns but it has drawn us together as a couple and really shown us what really matters in life! More to come later! It isnt over til that stork finally is caught!

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